Politics Mean Nothing When the People and Pets You Love are Gone...

Zion: 11/00-11/12

In the last week, I've been accosted by people that look at me and make up their minds as to who I am, what I believe, and what kind of person that makes me... in regards to the election.  I am a proud voter, there are people dying for that ability as we speak.  I however, lost my best friend of 12 years the Friday before the election and picked up his remains on the day of the election(after voting).  I will say, it took the wind out of my sails and I flatly walked into my voting location and cast my ballot without the excitement I always feel when I vote.  That feeling that I am a part of change and shouting my beliefs across the country... I felt nothing this time.

I'd been hammered on consistently by people, some even as to go as far as looking me up and down, when I refused to discuss my vote at my mother's place of business, and told that "You liberals need to go find yourselves another country to live in!!".  I realized that other than a knee jerk reaction to slap this man in the face for speaking to me that way, I didn't care.  All that mattered is that I lost the most precious loving gift I have ever been given...and I would never again be able to rub my face in his belly fur, or kiss his little face.  This brought up my decade of loss.  My father, my aunt, my cousin/sister, my sister, my niece, my grandmother, my son, and my best friend and constant companion of twelve years.  No... my sister, niece, and son are not dead, but they are gone and I've suffered the loss.  Mourning the death of our relationship and love, the ability to see them, touch them, hold them, laugh with them.  

These things have made me realize that the most important things in life are what you recieve from those you love, the wonderful traits of kindness, gentleness, unconditional love, patience, and more...and when they are gone, you take those loving gifts given without pretense or condition and you carry them into the world and give them back.  

On NPR yesterday I heard a Republican politician say that new wave feminism shouldn't exist anymore because we are holding a majority in politics now.  Instinctually, as I felt with that man, I wanted to scream...instead I laughed. I laughed because I realized how blind people are, how uninformed and selfish.  That the majority of politics and the "society" I'm surrounded with currently are so immersed in themselves and their agendas, they don't and can't see the bigger picture.  The bigger picture being that women aren't safe in any respect, that the need for feminism is as important now as ever.  Our wages aren't equal to our male counterparts and anyone that would like to argue that, do your research.  I don't mean go to FOX News, I mean really research put the time in to find out the truth that you would if it concerned your paycheck and then we can dialog.  Because, I have done my research and I've also lived it most of my adult life.  Also, women's health issues are again... and yes, I will continue to repeat myself on this, are up for legislation.  Do you see any bills for employers having the right to decide whether or not to provide coverage for a vasectomy, or cutting funding for prostate screenings and the like?  No, you don't.

But, in light of all of this loss and my aching heart, I'm not angry.  I'm determined.  I will use the gifts given to me by those I was fortunate to be loved by... especially my Zion, because he was truly the embodiment of all I aspire to be; kind, gentle, loving, unconditionally understanding, loyal, giving, and empathetic with a completely unjudgmental and peaceful knowingness that as humans, we are capable of attrocities and capable of justifying them as well.  So, with those beautiful gifts, I will approach, I will stand, I will continue to push forward, to educate people in an empathetic, peaceful, and understanding way...and not feed ignorance with anger.  I will try dilligently, to stand unjudgementally nose to nose with those who don't care, because they believe it doesn't affect them and explain calmly and with care how and why it does.

Do I believe I will fail, fall on my face, get angry?  Of course, I'm not lucky enough to be Zion... but, I will continue to try, brush myself off, find my peace, and walk on with this mission, my ambission, and the gifts of those who left before me.