We all Deserve Dignity....

As a human being with decent morals, good manners, a friendly demeanor, and
an all around decent way of treating all people, I deserve to be treated respectfully.  Even when a person is rude or just all around nasty, like that man who verbally attacked me on Election Day, I do my best to "handle" them in a respectful manner.  I can't help but wonder what all this "profiling"  is about.

What happened to the gratitude of our grandparents, or great grandparents?  My grandfather imigrated here from Poland as well as my grandmother.  My grandfather lost his mother not long after they fled to this country and as a 9 year old child alone on the streets of Detroit/Hamtramck was taken in by a Catholic orphanage.  He was well educated and taken care of, he became the head of maintenance at the Mound Rd. Chrysler Engine plant, as well as worked to create the UAW(my grandfather was born in 1908), and became the Chief Union Steward for his plant. 

He built his own big(in the standard of the day) brick house with the help of his multi-ethic friends.  He was never a man that believed color or creed made the person...only their character, he believed this was the greatest Country in the world...a place where a poor lost orphan child amidst the "Great Depression", could grow up to be a prosperous person, fight for what you believe in and make a change in this great nation, and all people of character were equal.  I'm glad he died when I was 6 years old.  I loved him more than I even knew how...and so did everyone whose life he touched.  When he died they had to close down one of the largest roads in Detroit because there were over 500 cars trying to find parking to get to the Funeral Home and church.  He inspired people and challenged them to be better, he raised his two daughters (one born in 1937, and my mother 1944) to strive for the best, telling them they could do anything a man could do and more, he sent them both to college, and my Aunt and Mother are both Master Degreed in double majors.  My Aunt, Latin and Art History and my Mother,  French and European History....both with undergrads in Education and my Mother double majored in her undergrad so she had Business as well.  My grandfather helped my mother with the creation of the Union in her District (teacher's), by getting the support of the UAW and their presence at their creation as well as their striking for implementation. 

You see, the Union is not the Devil... it was created, in the case of the UAW in Detroit, for safety standards, fair wage and hours, because these men were being worked sometimes 22 hours with no safety standards and not being compensated for their full hours worked.  And, when a man that was on his 20th hour got his finger caught in the line and ripped from his hand, he was docked for the line shut down, and time missed.  In the case of the Teachers, men were being paid double what their female counterparts were being paid and in most cases, like my mother, the women had higher education.  Also, women had to wear skirts and heels and could not wear slacks, they were constantly harassed, they would lose their job if they had to be out to deliver a child, AND the Administration was dictating the ciriculum, not the educators.  Administrators were educated in business and finance they had no education background.  So, students weren't receiving the benefit of an education dictated by educators that knew what was inherently important to obtaining the best and most comprehensive education possible.  Now you understand why I'm glad he's gone... for the state of this Country today would have killed his beautiful spirit.
 
There are still Unions out there that still work for their people, there are still people of character, but the possibility of coming from nothing and attaining success is increasingly harder to find.  I know for me, there hasn't been any opportunities...with a rich resume full of important and skillful knowledge, I can't get hired at a gas station as a cashier.  I also find that I become a doorman if I hold a door for someone instead of letting it smash them in the face.  No thank you's, no attempt to take the door themselves, in fact I've had men walk in behind someone I'm holding the door for....like I said, a doorman.

We are better than this aren't we?  I think we are.  What do you think?

Politics Mean Nothing When the People and Pets You Love are Gone...

Zion: 11/00-11/12

In the last week, I've been accosted by people that look at me and make up their minds as to who I am, what I believe, and what kind of person that makes me... in regards to the election.  I am a proud voter, there are people dying for that ability as we speak.  I however, lost my best friend of 12 years the Friday before the election and picked up his remains on the day of the election(after voting).  I will say, it took the wind out of my sails and I flatly walked into my voting location and cast my ballot without the excitement I always feel when I vote.  That feeling that I am a part of change and shouting my beliefs across the country... I felt nothing this time.

I'd been hammered on consistently by people, some even as to go as far as looking me up and down, when I refused to discuss my vote at my mother's place of business, and told that "You liberals need to go find yourselves another country to live in!!".  I realized that other than a knee jerk reaction to slap this man in the face for speaking to me that way, I didn't care.  All that mattered is that I lost the most precious loving gift I have ever been given...and I would never again be able to rub my face in his belly fur, or kiss his little face.  This brought up my decade of loss.  My father, my aunt, my cousin/sister, my sister, my niece, my grandmother, my son, and my best friend and constant companion of twelve years.  No... my sister, niece, and son are not dead, but they are gone and I've suffered the loss.  Mourning the death of our relationship and love, the ability to see them, touch them, hold them, laugh with them.  

These things have made me realize that the most important things in life are what you recieve from those you love, the wonderful traits of kindness, gentleness, unconditional love, patience, and more...and when they are gone, you take those loving gifts given without pretense or condition and you carry them into the world and give them back.  

On NPR yesterday I heard a Republican politician say that new wave feminism shouldn't exist anymore because we are holding a majority in politics now.  Instinctually, as I felt with that man, I wanted to scream...instead I laughed. I laughed because I realized how blind people are, how uninformed and selfish.  That the majority of politics and the "society" I'm surrounded with currently are so immersed in themselves and their agendas, they don't and can't see the bigger picture.  The bigger picture being that women aren't safe in any respect, that the need for feminism is as important now as ever.  Our wages aren't equal to our male counterparts and anyone that would like to argue that, do your research.  I don't mean go to FOX News, I mean really research put the time in to find out the truth that you would if it concerned your paycheck and then we can dialog.  Because, I have done my research and I've also lived it most of my adult life.  Also, women's health issues are again... and yes, I will continue to repeat myself on this, are up for legislation.  Do you see any bills for employers having the right to decide whether or not to provide coverage for a vasectomy, or cutting funding for prostate screenings and the like?  No, you don't.

But, in light of all of this loss and my aching heart, I'm not angry.  I'm determined.  I will use the gifts given to me by those I was fortunate to be loved by... especially my Zion, because he was truly the embodiment of all I aspire to be; kind, gentle, loving, unconditionally understanding, loyal, giving, and empathetic with a completely unjudgmental and peaceful knowingness that as humans, we are capable of attrocities and capable of justifying them as well.  So, with those beautiful gifts, I will approach, I will stand, I will continue to push forward, to educate people in an empathetic, peaceful, and understanding way...and not feed ignorance with anger.  I will try dilligently, to stand unjudgementally nose to nose with those who don't care, because they believe it doesn't affect them and explain calmly and with care how and why it does.

Do I believe I will fail, fall on my face, get angry?  Of course, I'm not lucky enough to be Zion... but, I will continue to try, brush myself off, find my peace, and walk on with this mission, my ambission, and the gifts of those who left before me. 

Our Duty to Ourselves and Our Brothers and Sisters

Tomorrow represents one of the greatest responsibilities we have as people of this nation.  Is also a privilege we have that other countries of the world do not have.  As a woman, I know that it is a precarious thing for me... people will tell you that when the Constitution says man it's just symantics and women are also included, do not fall for that tired lie.  When it comes to government and law, there is no such thing as symantics.  Women are not covered by the Constitution, we have State by State legislation.  If we were covered under the Constitution they could not legislate our bodies, our insurance coverage, etc.  You don't ever hear discussions about not covering vasectomies, or cutting out prostate exams.  So ladies and the men who love them, remember WE have to work together to make a change in this country.  I'm tired of the status quo, that's just not good enough, we've been asleep at the wheel to long and let our liberties slip out of our hands.  We are now a nation that can ask, "Let me see your papers"!  Is that what we want?  I know that if we vote and if we shout with a UNITED voice, "We want jobs, equal pay for equal work, fair and impartial immigration laws, and a MIDDLE CLASS"!!! Government will have no choice but to listen. 
Let your voices be heard.... I'm a 47%-er and I Matter!!!

Love with a Passion...

I think my last post had a negative tone, almost scolding... I realized that a few days ago.  I've been going through more than just my painful physical deficits, my rescue cat, a sweet old girl passed away... my eleven year old dog is all of a sudden been afflicted with excruciating hip pain, stomach issues, and skin wounds due to his licking his hips and legs thinking that will help.  I haven't slept a full night in at least two weeks and have an energy crisis.  I'm immersed in fear at loss... I've lost so many I've loved, to death, to ego, to I don't know what.  I found that I was reaching and grabbing not only to hard, but squeezing and with a negative tone and energy that isn't conducive to dialog, open or otherwise.
I want to apologize for my tone and my bad energy, believe me when I say that it wasn't out of anything but the desperation to be connected to someone and to have love in all it's forms in my life.  I live a life alone, which would be alright if I had friends(close by).  I live a life without kindness, or contact.  I live a life of utter solitude, if it weren't for my animals I would have no contact of any kind.  Losing Ingrid and now my Zion my sweet dog, one I've had for eleven years, since he was a baby is in constant pain...something I'd hoped we'd never share.  So, I suppose I put it onto you to fill that void... and not kindly.  I am sorry for my tone, and  my content.
However, I love with  a passion and am passionately trying to empassion others.  I listen to NPR and hear things like Senators saying things like, "I am going to make abortion illegal even in the event of rape, because God chose to have that child born."  How could anyone not have a gut, repellant reaction to something so horrifiying as that?  How could we not have some kind of dialog about the abhorant nature of the act of rape and to force a woman to carry and birth a product of something so unthinkable.  As a woman, I have been barraged with such enormous force during this election as to what our "true" place is in this country as it pertains to government and big business.  Women have not evolved in our society.  Even those of you who have been asleep and bought what you've been fed can no longer possibly deny the vast gorge between women's rights and men's.  The broad sweeping statements like, "...so that women can safely miss work to care for a sick child...." should shock and offend men and women alike.  What about the stay at home fathers or the single fathers or just plain ole' fathers?  As a single mother, I never missed a day of work, and because of being a single mother...a woman I wasn't paid as much as my male counterparts. How do I know?  I did the payroll amongst the various other responsibilities I was plied with that my male co-workers, who earned more than I, were not.  But, as I was saying, not only did I not miss work, I had to work two jobs and never was able to even use my vacation time. 
So, listening to where we really stand today, my hope is that there is a mass awakening in women....young, old, and in between, as well as men, all men...because you love the women in your life and can't imagine your daughter being violated, then either having to face a tribunal to determine whether or not she is allowed to have a "termination" or not even given a choice and at 15 or even 25, and forceably and legally made to carry to term and give birth to a child born of rape.  Rape, not being a physical and sexual assault....but a violation so horrific that it forever changes you.  It's as if a piece of your soul, your innermost, precious, sacred place has been stolen from.  It extinquishes a light and makes you feel as an asexual being, in fact worse, it makes you fear or even hate one of your most precious and sacred piece of yourself.  Your vagina, your womb, your lotus, the divine...the place of life, the place of the sacred feminine.  As a woman your vagina, your uterus, the womb means so many things and those are as unique and deeply personal as you and your mind; thoughts and feelings.  Yes, many of us heal and call ourselves survivors, and we are, we are no longer  the victim, but that sacredness that feeling of security and sanctity has been permanently damaged and can never be truly whole again.  Why do you think Bosnian women were subjected to rape camps and not just murdered as the men?  It's because of what I just described, death is death, but true torture and the breaking of the incredibly rock hard resilience of a woman's soul is accomplished only through rape or the murder/killing of the child born of choice of a woman.  With reprocussions of that nature to women, to demean the experience by defining it in the aforementioned legalese is just as grotesque as the process these politicians propose if they allow it at all.            
Now you see a portion of my passion and my desperation for connection, for dialog, and for community.  Please pardon the use of this ridiculous label, the world is starting to come to rest on the shoulders of our generation...Generation X.  If we don't start using all this technology for good purpose, dialog, community, connection, and a catalyst for change, peril is a charitable word for our future.
So again, I humbly ask you to subscribe, to connect, and to make this a revolutionary blog, a blog of humanity and discourse.  A place where we can unprogram phrases like, "different race"...and to put faces to ethnicities, minorities, and disabilities.  A place where we can talk real talk and brainstorm solutions that can realistically be implemented to show that programs, legislation, and more are workable and can be pushed into government with the force of a generation.
Please, help me change this country, our country, it's a mess and on a downward spiral...if you've agreed with nothing else I've written....I think we can all agree on that! 
I love you all, friend...stranger...accquaintance... you are all my brothers and sisters, because we bleed the same and we are hemmoraging.  Let's not put a Band-Aid on a bullet wound as been the case for so long, lets create a bond that nothing can tear, together.

Reaching Out to The Faceless Masses...

I find it amazing that this beautiful sky finds it's way over all of us... the wind in the trees, the leaves turning and falling, the cycles of everything, as people; birth, bonding, assertion, groping, growing, stumbling, falling, learning, becoming more in tune with your world as age comes upon you, aging, growing old, and death.  As the cyclical world, the organic and the real, not the technological inorganic unfeeling world; birth, bonding, growth, instinct, growing, family/reproduction, aging, wisdom, grace, and death.

I look at our natural world, animals, plants, flowers, trees, sunsets, mountains, stars... and the unseen, the wind, the way the light changes subtly as fall comes, and see and feel the graceful cyclical peace.  The unbroken chain of interdependence of each and every thing and I feel the squeezing in my chest at the clear and untarnished purity and unspoken intertwining of all, and grasp for the affinity of our natural world in my own world of ignorance, hatred, bigotry, lies, selfishness, carelessness, and oh, so much more.

We have technology, and we abuse it.  It's used for hateful "comments", "tirades of hate", and all of the execution of cowards safely tucked away behind their computers.  Instead of incorporating this into our world in a natural and cyclical way by using it to communicate in a way that would inspire change and inform those who are uninformed, we continue to remain silent.  If we don't remain silent, we speak only of ourselves and indulge our egos in a gross and one sided manner.  Very few blogs invite dialog, a "Here, here"... or a "You are so right!" comment (moderated for only those that will stroke that monologue ego) are the majority.

It makes me sad looking at this beautiful sunset and thinking how many of us missed it.  It makes me sad that with an election coming up with so many enormous issues on the board, there is no articulate dialog.  Most of all I am sad that when I started this blog, I thought, "This can be our coffee house, our place to speak"...yet it remains silent.  I had really hoped that with all of the enlightened and intelligent people this has been sent to, not one person has had an issue to bring to the table or a discussion/topic to raise.  It makes me think I should just go back to Facebook and put up "Happy face, hiding behind the mask" status updates... at least people had input there.

I am truly hoping that if I keep writing and keep asking someone will step up and be brave enough to say what they are really thinking.... The sun will continue to rise and set and the natural world will continue to fluidly coincide, unfortunately I can't say the same for us.  We are on a fast track to the destruction of all that we hold sacred.  We have already lost our Constitution, how much more are we willing to lose before we start talking about a solution, because dear ones, the solution lies within us.  We are the ones that are to take up the torch and we aren't doing much in that direction.

In love and hope....

I am Strong... I am Invincible...

Ladies... I'm still waiting for you to join in, men... I'm waiting for you to share your experiences and ask the questions you feel you can't ask without looking like a "sissy".

We are all capable of reaching understanding, but we've got to dialog... Let's work together!

Come on Ladies and Gentlemen(the feminist movement isn't just for women) Let's get a dialog going!!

Okay... Let me get you started with some more recent literature, something that you can not only relate to, but also put into a practical context.

   ManifestA: Young Women, Feminism, and the Future
Written by: Jennifer Baumgardner and Amy Richards

   Grassroots: A Field Guide for Feminist Activism
Written by:  Jennifer Baumgardner and Amy Richards

   http://bitchmagazine.org/blogs  

Yes I know... it uses the "B" word, however, in a non-vulgar way.  A "feminist response to pop culture"* and a reclamation of that invective word used to belittle women as no more than dogs.  But, if you sign up for an online account(doesn't cost money), you are in for a wealth of reading suggestions of contemporary literature that is relevant to both sexes, news, information, as well as a nudge in the direction of topics to help you delve into a dialog.

This blog isn't my blog, it's our blog... you don't like my challenge topic, bring me another.  It's all about communication, community, action, and a free and frank exchange of information.  This, I hope is a door that I've thrown wide open for intelligent discussion of the aforementioned.  I can write all day about myself and my opinions, but I don't want to do that... I want us to do that.  I want to hear your stories and struggles, I want to know what you know(as I am always evolving and ever open to new information), I want to help answer questions.  Help, I say that because I am hoping for a community to grow here that is a safe-haven for those with questions and those with answers.  

I'd love for someone to give me a challenge or share their opinions... keep in mind, this is a safe space, opinions are an invitation to loving, informed response.  Attacks are unwelcome, and anyone who willfully attacks someone will find themselves booted out the open door, which will remain open to everyone aside from them.  So, do not be afraid to speak as long as we all remember the old adage, "Treat people the way you want to be treated" and all will be copacetic.

I apologize for the Public Service Announcement, unfortunately with the birth of technology came the birth of unmerited ugliness.  In my "Feminist 101" post I hit on that very topic... when I was growing up we didn't have computers or cellphones, even when I was in college.  When you spoke, you spoke to someone face to face, thus thinking before speaking so you didn't find yourself on the floor.  Technology has brought us good, yet it has been detrimental in the social sphere.  As one can say the most deplorable things hidden safely behind there computer screens in cyberspace.  So, for that... I felt I must make my "Public Service Announcement".

With that out of the way... let's go!!!  Bring it on with the dialog!
We Can Do It!!!!

                       

*The name of the print and web publication is "bitch feminist response to pop culture"